Self Insert Because Raisins
by Clockwork Dreamer
Summary: You ever wonder what it's like if Izuku wasn't such a cinnamon roll? You ever question why we don't have nice things? What about if it was truly possible for someone to break their foot off in Katsuki's ass? Well I'm stuck in Izuku's body and things might get weird. Warnings: Self Insert, Out of Character, Language, Violence, and should not be taken at face value. Enjoy. R&R


**Obligatory Self serving Author's note: I don't even know why I'm doing this, and I feel I should warn everyone that this might just be terrible. I kind of wanted a story where Izuku was less of a pushover to Katsuki in the beginning and kinda started thinking 'In that situation I'd...' Anyway, have fun, rate, review, I don't own anything here except my likeness and thoughts. Gratuitous fourth wall breaks, references to other shows, and just...don't take everything at face value. Face value it's going to be garbage.**

* * *

_Death is what gives life meaning. To know that your days are numbered. Your time is short. You'd think after all this time, I'd be ready. But look at me, stretching one moment into a thousand...just so I can watch the snow. ~ _The Ancient One, quote inserted to look serious as possible

* * *

"Well fuck, ain't this gonna be a great day?" I asked aloud, to noone in particular as I walked down a long Green way towards my work. My name is John Smithson, and I mop floors and prepare rooms at a hospital. Why am I this Green Way you may or may not ask? Well, it actually runs parallel to a major river in my area and let's be real. All I have to do is make a twenty minute walk up hill, cross a bridge then take another twenty minute walk to work. I just got off of a sixteen hour shift, due to basically having back to back skeleton crews, but oh blessed be the overtime I just made. In the famous words of Ice Cube, 'Today was a good day, I didn't have to use my AK.' Small problem though.

See I got home, showered, shaved, went to bed...and woke up in a room covered in All Might merchandise. I wasn't fat anymore, but I hurt all over. I feel like I got in a fight with a bundle of lit fire crackers. Oh wait. Ah shit. I'm god damn Izuku Midoriya. Of all people, why did the universe stick me in the cinnamon roll? Fuck it. Time to roll with it.

* * *

Alright, so first things first, gently store some of this All Might stuff in the closet. It's nice, but it makes it too bright in here. After doing that, taking care with the standees and the almost life-sized statues to position them so they wouldn't fall or get damaged and rolling up some of the tapestries and sliding them into a plastic container. I'll need to get some mothballs later to keep the silverfish out. Little bastards. Are they still a problem in this time line? I know my old high school had a problem with them when I was a sophomore, but I was also rarely in the library. Getting side tracked here.

Second thing, break my foot off in Kacchan's ass. Respectfully. As former friend turned bullying target. Now I'm no Colonel H. Stinkmeaner, but I do know a thing about breaking a foot off in somebody's ass. He gon' get it. I get it, that's not what Izuku would normally do, but might as well nip an issue somewhere before it turns into a sad joke at best, or at worst some weird abuse story. Yeah. You know the ones. I'm not naming names but, you nasty. Anyway, I need to find out what day it is...and if I have a pad lock anywhere. I leaned over to check the desk and sure enough, a nice heavy master lock sitting in that top drawer. "I don't know why I have this, but it's about to not be used for intended purposes. Now do I have a tube sock around, or am I one of those bastards only wearing ankle socks?" I got up and checked the sock drawer, and pull out a pristine pair of tube socks.

"Honey, are you okay? I heard alot of stuff being moved in there." I heard from outside the door.

"Yeah mom, I'm fine. Just trying to make my room a little less..bright." I said, coming out of the room after setting my socks and padlock on the desk. "Hey umm can we talk for a minute?"

"What's wrong, sweetie?" Inko inquired, concern lacing her voice.

"So this is going to sound odd, but Kacchan's been being a problem at school, whether it be insulting me about my lack of quirk, telling me to kill myself in various ways in hopes that I'll get one when my next life time rolls around, physically assaulting me with his quirk, and ganging up with two others to beat me up with their quirks. In your opinion, barring going to the adults in school, because I've already done that and they've done nothing, what should I do to remedy the situation, with violence as a last resort?" I didn't want to break my foot off in his ass yet, since it was Izuku experiencing it as Izuku, and not me experiencing it as Izuku. I know I said it was going to happen, but I want to give him a chance to try to be a decent human being.

"Izuku, what do you have planned?"

"Nothing yet, but I wanted to get your opinion because Katsuki is a narcissist, and it's quite infuriating when he puts me on blast for not having a quirk, when there's a one in five chance it could have happened to him. Nearly one in five people at this point in time don't have a quirk, and yet he acts like he shits gold."

"Talk directly to him then. Give him a chance to reason with you." _Yeah fuck that. His ego's too big. Lock sock don't fail me now._


End file.
